Monday, January 11, 2016

A little background of me..

Growing up, life seemed like a movie. Everything was perfect. We traveled so much, met so many amazing people that has shaped my life till this day. The memories we made together as a family. Looking back on my childhood now, makes it seem like it was all just a dream. I'm so caught up in the today's world that I don't even know the difference between what is real life and not.

My life was perfect. We literally had everything we could have dreamed of, most importantly.. we had each other. As a kid, you don't realize the sacrifice your parents make everyday for you so you can be happy. They went to hell and back for my siblings and I to make sure that we got everything that we asked for and some more. I would have never guessed how drowning that is to one person.

I watched my mother suffer with her disease for my whole life. Not knowing what to do to help her or anything. But also, I never understood it either. I always thought that was a part of her personally. Technically it is.. its who she is.. but not the way a young child would expect.

I watched two people who were madly in love with each.. to now not even speaking. Never expecting one of the two to just get up and leave everything they have built with the other for over 20 years. I watched a person suffer from a mental illness that took over their life, and there was nothing I could have done to help. All the help was there, but they weren't.

A perfect family is now split a part because of one person and their mental illness. A perfect family will never be a perfect family again because of one decision that lead to heartbreak to many.

Because of my decisions as a kid, has reflected to the person I am today. The hurt that I have in my home, will never go away. The memories, will never go away. It is who I am. The road of my journey, will always be my road. Through it all. I will never understand the answer to why things happen the way that they do. Just why?